Sex, Lies and a Magazine

BY Sophie Black

Chapter 1: PENNY

On the bittersweet matter of being 150% hearted, an enthusiastic reception from Polish Elle, a note of apology for ripping a band member’s shirt, and the startling realisation that most, if not all, residents of Sydney are indeed goons.

Niceties:

Whhhhhhy? Why are you killing it, why?Because we can’t do a good job of it any more. No time. Its very spirit lay in the gross excess of time and effort dedicated for no monetary return. It was awesome for that reason. And you can’t do a half-hearted job of something that is defined by being 150% hearted.

Feel sad? Yes, I really do. Because people loved it – it was a bafflingly weird and fruity thing. And the more we did it, the more gloriously weird and fruity people we met.

The parties:

Was this spontaneous leap into event planning a successful revenue raiser? Um, yes. But, by god it’s hard to get kids to pay for stuff these days. Ironically, the same kids who resent branding and the reclaiming of their cultures by brands refuse to pay for something that they own completely.

Greatest moment of debauchery at an Is Not party: When I ran to the front of the stage at Beatles Is/Not Stones at Public Office and ripped Justin Hooper’s shirt off in the middle of a song. This, mind you, was Tash’s fault. I wrote him a note afterwards, apologising for ruining his shirt. It was so hard to rip, it probably cost like $400.

Name the party theme that you wanted no part of: The stoopid fricken BigFootLoose party for Bigger Is/Not Better. Who wants a snow cone in the middle of winter? The only redeeming feature of that party was Jeremy wearing a yeti outfit, which was obviously just a polar bear outfit.

Publishing guff:

Any talented discoveries come out of Is Not? Jon Bauer, Nghiem Tran, Paul Davis, Hot Little Hands, Plug-In City.

Ever get offered advertising? Tempted by cross promotion? So many times. We were approached by one ad agency to do an issue promoting water saving. Our only concept was to make an Is Not shower curtain. This, of course, was retarded, as people would have spent more time in the shower.

Any other cities embrace it? Poland apparently – Polish Elle covered it and sales went crazy. Germans love it, that’s because they’re all designers. Sydney never really got it.

The team:

Favourite Press Gang character: Lynda Day

Person most likely to come up with a hare-brained scheme that just might work: Jeremy. YouTube Tuesday? Welcome to the Jumble? Amazing.

What have we learnt here? Independent publishing is best when you are mad as a brush. And you don’t go crawling to sad old Boomers for grants. Never pay a venue hire fee, that’s bullshit. Offer a stock split to the licensee if you want to give away beer. People won’t come to a party just to see DJs but never put a band on after 10pm. Friday night parties are better than Saturday night ones. Communal decision-making is more time-consuming, but way more interesting. Half the people who ask you to talk at their event actually hate you. Glamour is the best revenge in these scenarios.

Most heartbreaking Is Not moment: When we realised the only people on the dance floor at our Sydney party were the 20 people we had flown up from Melbourne with. Who ARE these Sydney goons?

Ever picked up out of Is Not? And if you won’t say, then dob in someone else. Hehe, no! But Tash sure has. Oooooh yeah.

Chapter 2: MEL

In which our hero sacrifices her fair hands to paper cuts for a higher purpose, learns all the ‘Thriller’ choreography from the official Michael Jackson DVD, dons a pleather bum bag and pursues a contributor, with disastrous results.

Niceties:

What kind of reaction did you get after announcing The End? … The best reaction was from Nghiem Tran, a wonderful writer but utterly bizarre and long-winded email correspondent, who said we had inspired him to think seriously about being a writer. That was really lovely.

The parties:

First party you threw? The Love Grenade, in January 2005. We booked an experimental shoegaze band called Because Of Ghosts because Stuart knew one of the band members. When they played everyone sat on the floor, in between loudly bursting the balloons we had spent hours inflating. We wore pleather bum bags to hold the bar cash, and the next day it took ages and ages to clean up, the warehouse seemed like it would never get clean, and I cried in my car as I drove home afterwards…

Most ridiculous task performed in the name of throwing a good party: The ‘Thriller’ dance-off. I spent hours learning the choreography from the Michael Jackson DVD then teaching it to the others… the other team cheated and used ring-in professional dancers and acrobats.

Publishing guff:

Best piece of fan mail? … Philip Bateman, who wrote in to say he stood in front of the magazine with a takeaway pizza and read the magazine while his pizza got cold.

Most detested issue and why: Issue 5. We had switched to an ill-advised thinner paper stock, which looked really cheap, invariably gave us paper cuts and went see-through when pasted up.

Ever picked up out of Is Not? And if you won’t say, then dob in someone else: I did get someone to contribute because I wanted to shag him, and then I did and it was disastrous.

Chapter 3: STUART

Of, About and Concerning the formation of Is Not, Spike from Press Gang, being burnt alive, a well mannered punch-on and a salute to one loyal fan by the name of Michael Pham.

Niceties:

Favourite wall/location regularly glued over with an Is Not: Corner of Greaves and Smith streets, before it became a Nando’s. Because I would see it on my way in to the city and know the issue was out.

The single biggest contributing factor to the demise of Is Not? Time, money, exhaustion, diverging interests.

The parties:

Most expensive production and why: …the most ridiculous (and potentially expensive/disastrous) was the New Year’s Eve sleepover party. The pillow fight at midnight got out of control and spilled a 30cm thick blanket of feathers over the whole venue (including the ice behind the bar). This was closely followed by sparklers and party poppers. We realised at that minute that the whole place was going to combust and everyone would be burnt alive. Thankfully we were mistaken…

Publishing guff:

Why so big? To be inconvenient. To be temporary, setting it up to decay. To not be an artefact, by being one so large that it couldn’t remain pristinely tucked away on a bookshelf. That’s just how big bill posters are.

Most loyal subscriber/fan? Michael Pham.

Any kind of work that didn’t really work for the medium? Some people thought that the longer pieces were difficult. But part of the whole thing was to stop people in the street and engage with something meaningful and thoughtful. Having pieces of varied lengths seemed important to that because, metaphorically, short stories can be more moving and profound, but lots of people put more stock in novels.

Preferred technique for coping with deadline: Headphones, listening to Patton Oswalt.

The Team:

Favourite Press Gang character: Spike! I know I know, I’m more like Kenny, or Sarah even.

Name an example of the team turning on each other, Lord of the Flies style: The fight that broke out over the colours on issue 8. Mel had a dead leg for weeks, Penny broke her nose while head-butting Jeremy, and Tash broke a nail. I was, of course, well mannered throughout.

Chapter 4: TASH

A valuable moral lesson is learned regarding Butt Thrusts, a cohort is dressed as a polar bear instead of a yeti, and our fearless heroine risks bird flu in pursuit of the perfect party, only to be rewarded with a disco pash.

Niceties:

Not interested in handing the knowledge to a new generation of publishing upstarts to keep the flame alive? Is Not Magazine is a truly bizarre entity that is entirely the product of the complex dynamic that exists between the five founders. Changing any of the personalities involved would necessarily change the magazine. And I think that this is fine, but it wouldn’t be Is Not any more, it would be something else. I also think that the next generation of publishing upstarts will be giving up huge amounts of their time, just as we have, and they should do that in pursuit of their own unique creations (and I hope they do!).

The parties:

Tipple of choice, song most likely to drive you from the dance floor, plus signature dance move: Beer, with the occasional tequila shot. Anything hinting at techno will keep me standing stock still, and signature dance floor move would probably have to be the Butt Thrust.

Biggest flop: BigFootLoose. Most Disastrous. Party. Ever. At least Jeremy was dressed as a polar bear (he was meant to be a yeti).

Most ridiculous task performed in the name of throwing a good party: Rigging 14 feather pillows to explode with a little home sewing, in the height of bird flu season…

Publishing guff:

Favourite font: The curly ones.

Best piece of fan mail? The anonymous text message to the magazine phone declaring love to an unnamed Is Not Editor (it turns out it was for Mel).

The team:

Name an I-just-want-to-work-on-my-Expo-88-project-by-myself-but-instead-I-have-to-share-with-Troy-Whitehead-and-he’s-ruining-it-all-by-colouring-outside-the-lines moment that you had to overcome: Stuart and Jeremy vetoed the best headline I ever came up with. It was for an interview with a nightclub bouncer on having to judge people on their appearances. My headline was: “Face Like Poo? Back of the Queue!”

Most triumphant punch the air, Alex-P-Keaton pumped moment? Winning the Premier’s Design award and then hitting the city’s cocktail and karaoke bars on a Monday night. It’s the only time we’ve ever really stopped to celebrate what we’ve been doing. The rest has just been work.

Ever picked up out of Is Not? And if you won’t say, then dob in someone else: There’ve been a few disco pashes but sadly no. All my friends inform me that Is Not parties give them 100% strike rates and such. It’s a massive bummer that I’m often too busy running around and literally missing out on the action…

Chapter 5: JEREMY

A man of disconsolate heart is led by trickery and intoxication only to wake up in a bucket.

Niceties

What kind of reaction did you get after announcing The End? I think it’s one of those things people will only miss when it’s gone, but even then, it was always going to be a very temporal thing.

The parties:

Any techniques for overcoming the pre-party “it’s-official-no-one-is-coming-I-knew-I-should-have-invited-that-guy-I-don’t-even-like-just-to-make-up-numbers” feeling at 8pm before every event? Beta blockers.

Greatest moment of debauchery at an Is Not party: Waking up in a bucket.

Is Not member most likely not to clean up: That’ll be me.

Publishing guff:

Favourite font: We are obligated by our contract to say, “Anything by Underware” but also because it’s true.

Why so big? To make up for our lackluster sex organs. Or mine at least.

How did readers embrace it? What were the most popular bits? I still maintain that nobody ever read it. To test this we inserted little giveaways randomly in the text where people would receive free issues or Take-Aways if they simply contacted us via phone or email. Total number of responses: 0

Preferred technique for coping with deadline: What deadline?

The team:

Name the person most likely to come up with a hare-brained scheme that just might work. Name a scheme: I still maintain that we should have a ‘Bring the city to the city’ party in which we bring a bunch of junkies to a fake warehouse apartment in Caroline Springs, which we paste with a load of magazines and tags, leaving the junkies to have a go of it themselves, and then bus a bunch of inner-city hipsters out there for a party.

Person most likely to get roaring drunk really early and pike on door duty at parties: Are you trying to tell me something?

Most memorable quote from an Is Not member: We usually reserve that for the top of the logo and change it from issue to issue. There are a few gold ones in there. Off the top of my head, “I hear what you’re saying, but what are you saying?”

What’s Is Not ever done for you, anyway? It speaks to me softly, pets my hair, and tells me I am pretty.

Most heartbreaking Is Not moment: Trying to sell custom short stories and breast-cupcakes at St Jerome’s to fundraise.

Picked up? That was always the primary purpose, really. What other reason would there be to go into the arts? I think we’ve done well in that department.